Against my plans // My way of becoming a missionary

When I was a kid, I always looked at the pictures of the missionaries in our church and thought: "I could never do that! I would never go into missions!" Yet here I am, a few years later, starting to write a blog about my life as a missionary in Youth with a Mission.

Why the sudden change of heart? What caused me to give up on everything that I thought my future would look like and embrace what I said my future would NOT look like? To answer that question I should probably start a little earlier in my life.

A couple years ago, I thought my life would go like you’d imagine a good life to be. I was studying psychology, I thought I would get a good job afterwards, get married, have children, and settle with a little house in a nice neighborhood. It also looked like these dreams were on their way to becoming reality step by step. Well, somehow everything turned out different after all. My education as well as my private life took an unexpected turn and suddenly I knew the path I was on wasn’t leading as straight toward my dreams as I thought. So where to go next?

For a long time now, I have had the desire to take some time to invest specifically and intentionally in my relationship with God, and I figured that now was the time. In previous years, a couple friends had already told me about Youth with a Mission (YWAM) and the Decipleship Training School (DTS); a six month program to get to know God better and to make Him known in the world on a short-term missions trip. I always approved of the first part, but the missions part after it I just couldn’t warm to. Nevertheless, I suddenly felt the strong urge to leave my comfort zone and participate in a DTS.

Before the school even started, God suddenly started talking to me in my thoughts: "What if you won’t only go to YWAM to do a DTS? What if I wanted you to stay for longer?" These thoughts scared me in the beginning and I tried to suppress them. After all, I still had my "normal" dreams of life. I wasn’t really successful at suppressing them though.

Over time, I noticed how this passion in me grew that wasn’t there before: a passion to see the relationship between individuals and God grow - in myself, in my fellow students, and later, on outreach as well. I never expected it, but I even started to enjoy telling strangers about Jesus and preaching in front of people.

The six months passed by and I was facing the question: do I stay in Youth with a Mission? Despite the passion that had grown in me and all the affirmations from others - that they saw me working in this field - I didn’t have peace about staying. I decided against working at the base where I did my DTS, so I thought I’d pursue a "normal" education and I would start studying next year.

After six months of traveling and working, suddenly the thought came to do a School of Worship, a secondary course of YWAM. Well, that wasn’t part of my plan, and I also knew for that course I would have to live in another YWAM base. More precisely Herrnhut - a dump somewhere at the eastern border of Germany. There was definitely no draw there… But God gave me a great joy about this opportunity so that I knew He must be calling me there. Suddenly these thoughts that I had almost forgotten about came up again "What if you’d stay longer in YWAM?" I didn’t really know what to think about this question, but about one thing I was sure when finally I arrived in Herrnhut: The reason why I was there was not only the School of Worship...

This was confirmed from the first moments on base: I felt like I had… arrived somehow, and during the next months God kept talking to me about staying in Herrnhut. We went on outreach again in this school, and there the passion to share the word of God kept growing in me and God revealed to me what missions actually means. (You can message me if you want to know what God exactly spoke to me.

I still had my old dreams though - a "normal" job, a family, and a nice place to settle. Toward the end of the outreach, I noticed how frustrated I really was that my life was going so much different than what I had planned a long time ago. What am I doing here? Why does everyone else around me live the life that I had imagined? And suddenly, in my deepest moment of disappointment, God’s answer came out of the blue "Because I need you here! Through you I’m transforming nations!" A simple statement that I was never really aware of, but suddenly it was like scales fell from my eyes. I am here because God needs me here. Through me - a young woman without professional qualification, without any specific future and goals, He encounters people, He transforms hearts and even the nations. Suddenly I understood: I’m not just simply a part of a group that is traveling the world and does good things. God is using ME personally - and nobody else can just replace me.

This revelation and encouragement from God didn’t just change my thinking about that outreach but about my calling to missions in general. I recognized the desire that God has put inside of me - I want to experience adventures with God! I want Him to use me so that people encounter Jesus - no matter if they’ve been going to church for years already or they have never heard the name of Jesus before.

I realized how much I had limited myself in my plans about my future. I would have never come to this realization if God didn’t get me off my narrowminded path. He removed me from the box I had put myself in and showed me how much more is possible with him.

During the following weeks, I became more and more aware of how many gifts He had already put in me and how He let me grow in certain areas to prepare me exactly for this adventure.

Specifically my passion and my gifting for discipleship and mentoring had grown during those last few months; I want to see how people do not only decide for Jesus once, but how step by step they grow into a closer relationship with Him. Therefore I didn’t only decide to work with YWAM, but specifically with Discipleship Training Schools (DTS) like the one I did myself. I want to pass on to others what I experienced with God and encourage them to step out of their comfort zone. I’m looking forward to seeing what God will do both in my own life and the life of my students!

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So… that was the story how I decided to become a missionary.

BUT HOW DOES THAT LOOK LIKE IN PRACTICE?

In June I moved to Herrnhut into a shared flat with other girls working with YWAM and I will start organizing DTS, as well as helping in the different departments (inner ministries) at the base. I will share in another post what my daily life is gonna look like and what my tasks will be.

HOW DO I EARN MY MONEY?

YWAM is a non profit organization and doesn’t pay salary. Everyone that works with YWAM therefore builds up their own supporter group, through which monthly income comes together. If you want to know more about the reasons for this you can contact me.

HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT ME?

An important part of your support is prayer. If you imagine yourself praying for me on a regular basis, please contact me!

As I said before though, I need financial supporters that will support me through monthly giving. I would be very glad if you would also think and pray about supporting me and this ministry through finances and with what amount. Important to note for me is that it’s not just about providing money for me, but that with your money you’re investing in what God wants to use me for. So if you have a heart for what I’m doing and through your giving you want to become a part of this adventure, please contact me. Every smallest amount has an influence! Even if it’s just 2,50€ per month that I can buy myself a cup of coffee with.

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If you have any further questions or just want to give a comment, contact me!

To finish off, I can only say that I’m excited for the future and for everything that God will be doing in and through me!